Gotta Admire The Artist
There are songs that I have in my iTunes library that always bring me back to a memory. The most vivid of which is 'The Other Man' by Sloan. Everytime I hear that I'm taken back to 2 summers ago in July. David (my boyfriend of the time) bought me Foo Fighters tickets for my birthday and Sloan was opening. As we walked into the concert, this song was playing. David pulled me into a quiet corner (or as quiet as one gets in the Pacific Colluseum) and said that this song explained how he'd felt over the past 2 years. It was at that point in time that it all became clear. He'd loved me from a distance for 2 years - not daring to ever say anything to me because I was with Andrew. Being the upstanding guy that David is, he wasn't willing to risk ruining the friendship by saying something, especially when I already had a boyfriend. He put up with me complaining about Andrew and then complaining about Mark before he eventually made his move. Out of nowhere he kissed me on New Years Eve. The amusing thing was he actually kissed me in the middle of the afternoon. Anyway, I digress. 'The Other Man' takes me right back to that summer. The Foo Fighters concert, the house to ourselves for the weekend, drinking in Richmond (okay, maybe not one of my favorite memories but one of the most vivid nonetheless).
'More Than A Feeling' by Boston takes me back quite a while to when I started to date Andrew. It would have been four summers ago this summer past. I remember lying in my bed looking out window thinking of him when my email program made a noise. I checked it to find an email from him saying that he was lying in his bed, looking out his window, thinking of me and this song kept running through his head. He said it perfectly described how he felt at that moment and he was right. It hit the feeling right on the head. It's new, exciting, scary and you can't help but fall head over heels. It was just funny how we were both doing the same thing on opposite sides of the city. Definitely that was a time when I would have loved to have just driven over and spent the night lying on a bed together.
I think there's only one more in my list of songs with powerful memories attached. 'Such Great Heights' by The Postal Service reminds me of Mark. It conjurs memories of one night three summers ago. Mark had had too much to drink (he'll always deny that) and to sober him up I thought it would be a good idea to walk around the Seawall at Kits. We're walking along and he's starting to become more coherent when, out of nowhere, he puts his arm around me. It just felt so ... natural. We got to the end of the Seawal and sat on a bench, looking out over the ocean. He turns to me and I swear he was about to kiss me before he thought better of it. Somewhere down the beach 'Such Great Heights' was playing on a stereo. It just played as we sat there, looking into each other's eyes, both of us trying to gather the courage to make the big move and take the relationship just that last step. Unfortunately neither of us ever made the step. We came close a couple of times but I guess we always wussed out. I don't know what to think about my relationship with Mark. Don't get me wrong, I love James and wouldn't have my life any other way. But that doesn't stop me wondering. We're so close now, it's like we're siblings. I can tell him anything (well, almost anything) and he can do the same with me. I guess I wonder, do you ever feel that you were just 'meant' to end up with someone in the end? Like there's that one person out there who's been under your nose all along but you just keep overlooking them. Like eventually you're both going to come to the realization that the answer to all your problems have been staring you in the face the entire time and you didn't even know it. I think that's how I feel about Mark. I know, somewhere deep down, that we could easily end up together and it would actually be true love. It's just a matter of whether or not it actually happens. And, usually, I find the best way to deal with stuff like that is to just let fate run its course and not intervene.
Don't get me wrong, if I end up with James then I'm totally okay with that. Better than okay, I'm lucky to have him in my life. He's my stabilizing force. He lets me be random and sketchy and just takes me as I am. There aren't many other people in this world who will accept you for who you are and not wish you were someone else. Definitely someone worth holding on to for a long time.
I wish I could write songs like that. Songs that could recount such amazingly vivid memories. Definitely the test of a good song.
'More Than A Feeling' by Boston takes me back quite a while to when I started to date Andrew. It would have been four summers ago this summer past. I remember lying in my bed looking out window thinking of him when my email program made a noise. I checked it to find an email from him saying that he was lying in his bed, looking out his window, thinking of me and this song kept running through his head. He said it perfectly described how he felt at that moment and he was right. It hit the feeling right on the head. It's new, exciting, scary and you can't help but fall head over heels. It was just funny how we were both doing the same thing on opposite sides of the city. Definitely that was a time when I would have loved to have just driven over and spent the night lying on a bed together.
I think there's only one more in my list of songs with powerful memories attached. 'Such Great Heights' by The Postal Service reminds me of Mark. It conjurs memories of one night three summers ago. Mark had had too much to drink (he'll always deny that) and to sober him up I thought it would be a good idea to walk around the Seawall at Kits. We're walking along and he's starting to become more coherent when, out of nowhere, he puts his arm around me. It just felt so ... natural. We got to the end of the Seawal and sat on a bench, looking out over the ocean. He turns to me and I swear he was about to kiss me before he thought better of it. Somewhere down the beach 'Such Great Heights' was playing on a stereo. It just played as we sat there, looking into each other's eyes, both of us trying to gather the courage to make the big move and take the relationship just that last step. Unfortunately neither of us ever made the step. We came close a couple of times but I guess we always wussed out. I don't know what to think about my relationship with Mark. Don't get me wrong, I love James and wouldn't have my life any other way. But that doesn't stop me wondering. We're so close now, it's like we're siblings. I can tell him anything (well, almost anything) and he can do the same with me. I guess I wonder, do you ever feel that you were just 'meant' to end up with someone in the end? Like there's that one person out there who's been under your nose all along but you just keep overlooking them. Like eventually you're both going to come to the realization that the answer to all your problems have been staring you in the face the entire time and you didn't even know it. I think that's how I feel about Mark. I know, somewhere deep down, that we could easily end up together and it would actually be true love. It's just a matter of whether or not it actually happens. And, usually, I find the best way to deal with stuff like that is to just let fate run its course and not intervene.
Don't get me wrong, if I end up with James then I'm totally okay with that. Better than okay, I'm lucky to have him in my life. He's my stabilizing force. He lets me be random and sketchy and just takes me as I am. There aren't many other people in this world who will accept you for who you are and not wish you were someone else. Definitely someone worth holding on to for a long time.
I wish I could write songs like that. Songs that could recount such amazingly vivid memories. Definitely the test of a good song.
posted by Liamhain at 11:28 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home