Month 7: Evidence of Affection

So with this whole 'graduation' thing seems to come getting jobs. And some of my friends are getting jobs that aren't in Vancouver (ie Toronto). We were talking about what that does to a relationship. Long distance sucks. I know this. I will never EVER do long distance again unless I'm absolutely positive beyond a doubt in my mind that it's right. I was thinking about what I would do if I was in that position. Mainly what I'd do about James. So, I figured, there's no better way than to ask him. So I did. I don't know if the answer surprised me or not. After posing the theoretical question, he said that he'd be reluctant to join me. Now, I can take this one of two ways. The first way is obvious - that he doesn't love me enough to come with me. The second is a bit more subtle. I'd bet he's scared. Now the problem is, I don't know what he's scared of. We went to the car show yesterday and, as soon as he got comfortable with Mark and his girlfriend, James became affectionate. He put his arm around me a number of times and even held my hand (trust me this is impressive) as we were walking around. I was thinking to myself "dude, what the hell is going on he just took my hand". And then tonight. We ended up at Cleveland Dam. After walking along the dam we stood on a hill and looked out over the reservoir. James stood behind me, wrapped his arms around my shoulders and just held me. Again, I inwardly freaked out. He's always (always = since Seattle) very affectionate when we're making out but he's rarely affectionate when we're in public. I'm really confused. It makes me wonder if he actually is falling for me and doesn't know what to do with those feelings. It's nice but it's odd. Oh, and we hit the damn glass ceiling again. I really have to fix that.