Artificial is really never as good as the real stuff

This whole 'messing with horomones' is really beginning to get old. Now I'm not the most predictable or reliable as far as horomones and regulation thereof go. And I know that. But that's fine. It's the drastic changes in sex drive that I'm totally not okay with. That and the breaking out. That really pisses me off. It takes me long to get going for sex than it used to (which I guess is fine, it's not like that's a huge deal) but this whole hormonal thing means that I'll get really really horny and really strange times. Usually before I go to sleep or just when I get up. I guess before I go to sleep makes some semblance of sense (maybe) and it definitely makes for interesting dreams but when I'm just waking up is so odd. You know that place in between sleep and consciousness where you can kind of control your dreams? That's when it usually happens. And it always involves James and it's always at night. Now this would be find if I lived with James. Hell, in Seattle that would be a typical routine. Well, until like noon. But that's besides the point. Since I don't live with James, I have to try and get myself calmed down and sorted out before I get out of bed and try to concentrate on the tasks at hand. Which usually adds an additional ten minutes to my day. Now I'm someone who will sacrifice a lot of things in the name of sleep so by this time I'm usually already late because I've hit snooze one too many times. And those extra ten minutes just seem to totally mess me up. Not only am I really late when I get up, I'm also cranky and out of sorts. I guess the moral of this is I'm just not a morning person.

Compromising Positions

James and I had to resort back to dealing with roommates again. It really makes me miss an empty house. Now if you had an empty house you can have sex on any available surface. Beds, couches, floors, washing machines... But with roommates you can't have sex on the couch. Or floor. Anyway, back to rant at hand.

We saw Premonition (not bad, not necessarily a 'must see in theatre' movie). Julian McMahon was so hot in Charmed. I love Tinseltown with the whole back row arms go up. We didn't have dinner before the movie because I didn't get off work until 6 and the movie was at 7:30 so we kinda gorged ourselves on popcorn. Which, in retrospect, was kind of a crappy dinner. After that, we went to Boston Pizza to try and get actual food. The waiter guy there kinda scares me. There's something about him that just freaks me out. After dinner we went back to James' place and watched last week's episode of BSG. Now, James is a huge BSG fan. I don't mind it, it's kinda cool. But I seem to have this predeposition to falling asleep on James' bed. After BSG James decided that we were going to 'watch' The Illusionist. With all my previous boyfriends we never really got into the whole watching-a-movie-just-as-an-excuse-to-make-out but it seems to be a common idea of James'. So the movie went on and the making out started. See, last weekend, making out was either really intense because we just bloody wanted sex or really slow and gentle because we'd just had the intense sex session.

But you can't do that with roommates around because they have this habit of walking in or walking by or calling to you from the other side of the house and you have to get up, see what they want and by the time you get back to the sex you've totally lost any motivation or sex drive. That didn't mean we didn't try. We kept hitting out proverbial glass ceiling where I just wanted to pull his shirt off and rip his pants off and just do him right there. That ends up being the problem. You get halfway there and are all horny and ready to have sex and then you get disapointed.

We definitely pushed the boundaries though. I was down to just a tank and James had a t-shirt and we were all over each other. We kept laughing because we'd be in positions that really weren't PG and definitely would result in an interesting conversation the next morning. Eventually we just got tired and fell asleep. That's the thing that mildly annoys me. After all the making out we both get tired and I end up falling asleep in his arms. And then, 3 hours later, I wake up and have to extract myself and drive home. Totally makes me want to move out with him even more. I've been thinking about that a lot lately. I have to figure something out. That will also get us around that whole glass ceiling problem. Ah well, yay for inobtainable solutions.

Two worlds

I spent the weekend with James again. Not as much of the weekend as last weekend, but it was enough. It's such a different world. My world is always go-go-go. There's ALWAYS something to do, something that has to be finished or tended to. Sometimes I choose not to do it, but they're always there. There's always a to-do list. James' life is so ... quiet in comparison. There are no deadlines, no pressure, nothing that has to be done. It's so strange to wake up on Sunday morning and be able to lie in bed for an hour and just enjoy the warmth of the bed and having someone beside you. Granted that person beside you snores. (I didn't realize how much that would bug me) We didn't get to sleep until 4am. It wasn't just sex (granted there was a lot of that). There was a lot of talking, a lot of discussion. One thing just led into another. Nothing was on the taboo list. It was nice to be able to just ask a question and not worry about what he thought of me. I guess we're at that point where nothing surprises him anymore. It's almost been 6 months since we've been actually dating. I mean it's more like 18 months because of all the crap that happened before. 18 months. It seems like it hasn't been that long.

His birthday is on Thursday. I've heard that his parents want to do something. I don't know if I'm included in this or not. I hate meeting parents. I'm always afraid of saying the wrong thing but coming off as witty, entertaining, intelligent. I never know how much I'm supposed to say. Oh, and on top of all of that, what the hell am I going to wear? Why can't we just take him out and get him drunk like a normal birthday is supposed to be? What's so wrong about that? It's so much easier for everyone.